My Sunshine Turn to Rain

Everything's a two way street. For the longest time, it wouldn't matter to me. I'd do things regardless of return. But now, this is how it's gonna be. I've worked hard all these years, I know that my talents are worth something now. When strangers begin to raise their eyebrows at my work and offer me contracts, I know it's time to stop working for free.

So that's how it'll be. Two way streets. Meet me halfway, and we'll be good. Otherwise, no more freebies, stay out of my life. I neither have the time nor patience for those who try to take advantage of me anymore.

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St. Catherines was my reprieve for a while. A chance to get away from all the dramas and watchful eyes of my parents, a chance to feel refreshed. When things started getting complicated here, I found refuge in work. Having something to focus on truly helped.

That was until a coworker fell for me, and I told her it'd never work. Then ensued weeks of emails back and forth, conversations in person, frustrated words. I... don't want another long distance relationship. And I actually dislike her character, but put up with it in our professional setting. So what she fell for was an act, or her own fantasy.

I'm also aware of the underlying drama's that float around within the office. I'm thankfully not involved in any of it since I've been told that everyone loves me and that my reputation around the office is the constantly enthusiastic, well dressed, and helpful Chinese Waterloo student.

Then there was the coworker I've been helping for the past few days. I enjoyed the field work he got me to do, and loved racing around fields and lagoons on the six-wheeled gator, but he's a broken man too. My sunshine always turns to rain after being with him for a while. He lost his son to a lung infection a few years ago. His son would've been my age now. He's also extremely considerate and helpful, and it is easy to see that he gets taken advantage of. He constantly says things that brings up my supposed "girlfriend" (I never told him I didn't have one, nor gave any hints to imply that I did have one). Stuff like, "oh this is a good place to take your girl, she'd love it". Or like, "work that pump harder, pretend your jerking off, oh for the love of God, think of your girlfriend."

I actually can't wait to be back in Loo. 2 more months. I love my job. But I miss my little sister, and the only time I'll see her is then.

Anyways, I can feel myself getting antisocial again. I do this every time I become an emotional mess. Shouldn't even be getting so worked up about all this crap, don't know why it all bothers me so much. I just want to be alone for a while.