On-Two

There's something between each line of words,

the graceful manner an artist wields her tool,

the connection of two weaving through a dance,

the subtlety of each brush stroke on canvas--

this I want to understand.

So many things being uprooted and turned around. My, how people have changed, how memories have faded, how what was once useful to me... is now detrimental.

It's all so reminiscent of my experience with Salsa dancing, where I began by learning how to break "on-one" only to be corrected by learning how to break "on-two". The same dance following different evolutionary paths. Similar steps, but on different beats of the music--it makes all the difference. Now, the movements are much more fluidic and beautiful.

Fluid equates to flexibility. Beauty to quality. The two things I want my life to be.

Still Alive :)

Yes, I'm still kicking and around. Thank you to those who cared enough to reach me in some way.

2011 is truly setting itself as a year to be remembered. Restructuring of my systems, developing new ones concurrently to assume their responsibilities as those are shifted out is a draining and taxing process.

There are a lot of deadlines, but they are thankfully staggered, hopefully preventing the burnouts I've experienced in previous terms. A lot more buffer has been allocated this term to allow for more drastic fluctuations in my schedule. Academic, personal and familial expectations are all being kept in line at the moment. I've had a lot of gentle, and not so subtle, prods in the right direction; so expect me to be pushing every envelope that I used to accept as my natural limits. We're human. We've always striven to go beyond what others define as our limits, so there's no excuse for me to be so complacent with my position.

My apologies for being so antisocial, for being so quiet, for being so distant with people I should be holding close.

Imagine running down a hill, as soon as you start, you can't stop. You may be concerned that you'll lose control, but you can't be bothered by that. Just keep going, focus, have faith.

and most of all, remember and cherish those who've stuck along with you the entire way.

2011

Why, hello there 2011.

I'm not sure if I should greet you with resounding exuberance or wary lethargy. The past year has been a memorable one. I've seen many things, learned a spectacular amount about myself, done things I've never attempted before, and never seen life as clearly as I see it now. There was the olympics, wild parties, as well as amazing people who have appeared and moved on in my life. It was the year where I established the qualities that I look for in the people, and selected a handful of individuals to form the core of my achievements... should they choose to participate. It was year I better positioned myself for life after university.

But it hasn't been easy. There has been so many slaps to the face, many relationships broken, investments lost, dead ends and disappointments. I've regrettably had to push certain people away as their attitude towards me changed, I didn't perform as well in school after I held opportunities that would serve me better in the workforce in higher importance, and I've analyzed and dissected how I live my life repeatedly.

Every fall and disappointment is a blessing, I've learned that much. But 2011, my confusion is not in whether you'll be just as painful or more so than the year past. It isn't a request for you to go easy on me, or bring me fortune without expecting fair payment.

No, 2011 will be a defining year regardless of what happens. Before me are turbulent waters, and I'll do what I always do in times like these... dig in with the oars and paddle onwards.

If I may, every year I make a wish along with my resolutions. It isn't so much a wish, as a promise that I'll work hard to achieve my request should the opportunity present itself. Just for your information, it's worked every single year... so don't leave me hanging okay?

I prefer my adventures to be an affair shared with a partner. It's a wonderful opportunity for us to bond and grow together, and particularly in difficult times, having two paddles in the water holds the boat much steadier. I've been patient, I've been honest. I'm very specific in what I need. The past year has shown me people with grace, brilliance, or strength.

In 2011, I ask for someone with all three qualities because this is true beauty. In a world of superficial powdered faces and surgery, I just want to be with someone who can build things with me. I have someone in mind already, so a little bit of support in that direction would be appreciated.

One of the last pictures I took of 2010

Alright 2011, It'll be interesting to see where we all are when it comes time for you to leave, in the meantime, enjoy your stay, smile often, and all the best to you.