Everywhere's Different

 "You know as well as I do that the light in Barcelona is quite different from the light in Tokyo. And, the light in Tokyo is different from that in Prague. A truly great structure, one that is meant to stand the tests of time never disregards its environment. A serious architect takes that into account. He knows that if he wants presence, he must consult with nature. He must be captivated by the light. Always the light. Always." - The Lake House (2006)

Time is fleeting, and so does my ability to track what is going on it seems. Such is the speed at which events are unfolding. Tasks are appearing far more frequently than I am able to complete them, and so I'm focusing myself to try and tackle this backlog.

It's exhilarating. The sort of feeling you get when you're flying down tracks, your progress decided by something other than yourself, moving so fast that everything is a blue... there's excitement in relinquishing control.

But one should never dwell in that phase for too long, because when it comes down to it, you still need to be responsive and reactive to nature.

So co-op apps are in and interviews have already begun. With it, I can't help but wonder where I'll be in 4 months time. Will I be back in Ottawa? Exploring the lively and classy city on my own again? Walking down large empty hallways in the museums, beckoned on by the promise of insight?

Or perhaps I'll be in New Zealand? Yes, I applied to Jeff's job at Trimble. Maybe I'll get to see a country that had captivated me with its abundance of geothermal energy and sheep.

How about London, ON? The one school that I applied for in high school but never visited? A city that has its very own version of the Thames?

Washington D.C.? (Or nearby?). I wonder how different the American corporate culture is? Would I get a chance to explore the heritage of this country that I have, for the most part, ignored?

So many possibilities, so hard to decide. Everywhere is different, everywhere, the light is special. I haven't even considered the differences in the positions yet, and already... I'm beginning to realize that it doesn't really matter.

I'll be happy anywhere. Since I'm different now too. I've learned to be on my own, and I'm realizing that the people I admire the most don't hold themselves back in any way. They give their very best all the time, demand the same of others, and treat new frontiers with such enthusiasm that I hope to emulate.

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Brave new world. Let's see what you've got in store for me.

I Understand

Believe me, when I say that I understand you.
When you tell me, complete with droplets from your eyes.
How all you've ever wanted was someone to
want you as much as you've wanted them,
need you as much as you've needed them.

Because this way you'll know what you have is forever.
And not just a fantasy used to fill up that gaping empty hole
in your heart.

Dreams and a Year

 Clifton Hill, last visit to the falls before moving

Already, the past term seems like a dream. Those nights with Sae. Those nights with the coworkers at the bar. Those nights out with Lucia. I vaguely recall saying goodbye to the Brock University campus, walking slowly down the halls, running my hands against the walls. It may seem strange to some, why I would do this when it isn't my school. But the truth is, I've been there before. My church used to have retreats there, so when I was a little boy, I used to run around the campus. I fell in love for the first time with a girl during one of those retreats, and spent much time exploring the buildings with her. So, you see? The school had a special meaning to me. I did not expect to be back again, so many years down the road.

I'm grateful for everything that has happened this term. The goods, the bads, I take it all with gratitude. That's what it means to be alive right? I've been able to give the best of me, for a brief moment. I was able to experience that ease... when two compatible individuals meet and spend time together; and oh, that amazing feeling of knowing that the other person is thinking the exact same thing as you.

The year ended off with many kisses, many hugs, many secrets whispered in my ears, and snuggles. And the new year found me lying on the top of a mountain slope, looking up at the sky as the snowflakes fell down on me, the village all lit up below me.

2009. What a year.

I can't believe I'm turning 21 in a few days. God, I'm an old geezer.

Track - Backseat Goodbye - Technicolor Eyes